3 Shocking things to know about being a clean comedian!!!
Ok you’ve tweeted and posted on Facebook about you thanking whoever for your blessings and how you want to spread good clean comedy and whatnot. Well boys and girls here’s a few things you didn’t know.
#3 Nobody cares
Nobody cares. Yes I know it sounds mean but hear me out. In the grand scheme of things all that should matter is whether you’re funny or not. You going on and on about how comedy should be “clean” and how its easy for a comedian to use profanity to get a laugh is getting really old. You being clean does not in any way make you a better comedian. Why? Because getting a laugh will always be the most difficult thing to do in comedy. And that is a struggle whether you’re clean or not. Its true profanity can be a crutch but then again so can being clean sometimes. Lately comics are getting bashed over whats funny and whats not. Comedy is subjective like any other art form and your likes or dislikes belong to you and you alone. This goes for the comics as well as the audience.
#2 Nobody cares
One thing that can be said about comedians who use profanity is they are more likely to be totally honest. Speaking from your heart and saying whats really on your mind and being unique is what doing stand up is all about. Franklyn Ajaye said that Richard Pryor gave him some great advice. He said not to worry so much about being funny but rather concentrate more on being interesting. Now I’m not saying you have to drop an “F-bomb” to really be honest, but are you being honest in your jokes or are you just going for the chuckle factor? Are you limiting yourself by thinking you can’t talk about adult issues without using profanity? Cause in all honesty I’ve heard some really clean yet hack stuff out there. Why not follow Jerry Seinfeld's example?
#1 Nobody cares
Why limit yourself by calling yourself a clean comic? Why not just be a comedian and let the jokes speak for themselves? Better yet, just do YOUR clean material and let your booker or the audience label you as good or (*groan*) clean comedian? Stop prefessing to the masses that you’re a clean or (cough) Christian comic like nobody even knows that comedians can be clean OR like you’re looking down your nose at other comics who don’t follow your example. Here’s a little nugget…you’re not exactly reinventing the craft with that label.
How to be a comedian who succeeds! Awesomeness from Josh Spector
Here's a great post by Josh Spector, creator of Connected Comedy.
"Did you know that more than 3 million people a month search Google in an attempt to figure out how to be a comedian?
But while millions of people want to become a comedian, significantly fewer understand what it takes to actually become a successful comedian.
That’s why I’ve put together the following list of 50 things that will help you figure out"
4 Things you Should Know Before Taking a Comedy Class or Why paying $200-$500 for an intro comedy class is a waste of money
I actually did a post about this some time ago but I think it got lost through some technical error. (or I didn’t pay my service charge) Anyway, I’ll do it again with some added stuff.
I’ve been seeing a lot of ads for comedy classes and one thing I’ve noticed is the prices. Are the prices of these classes matching what you take away from the class?
Well I say no. Here’s why:
1. I’ve been doing comedy almost 10 years now and I paid $85 for my first class. I took 2 other classes for $200 each and didn’t learn anything new. In fact the second $200 class was more of the same info from the first $200 class. So I was pissed.
2. Nobody can teach you to be funny. You can be taught how to write comedy but there are more than a few methods in doing this. There’s no one true way. Its about what method fits YOU. Pick up The Comedy Bible, The Complete Idiots Guide to Comedy Writing or The Comic Toolbox to learn the many ways of writing comedy for way less than $200 - $500.
3. You know how to get stage time? Show up. That’s it. Keep showing up. When you find a comedy open mic, sign up. If you don’t get picked that night then you show up the next week and sign up. The comedy class won’t give you a free pass to an open mic. That part is all on you. Cause after the class is over its time to go to work. There’s no comedy summer school.
4. Comedy is about working. You work when you write, you work when you promote, you work when you try to get stage time and you work to motivate yourself to keep at it. You can’t get that in a class or a book. You get it from meeting people and encouraging each other.
So what have we learned? Do you still want to spend all that money? Let me know what you think.
**I’ll go one further: For $85 I’ll show you how to be a comedian. We’ll look at writing, promoting, and getting on stage. Call it guerrilla comedy class. Total real world stuff. I’m serious if you are!**
Let me know if you’re interested
Here’s real talk about why comedy sucks
Somebody asked me the other day, “Hey Chelcie, why don’t you just concentrate on being a comedian and not worry so much about finding a real job?”
Ok…so I paused for a moment because I had to realize that most people who watch comedy on tv or in clubs have absolutely NO clue as to how the business of comedy works. So in today’s blog update I’m going to break it down for the folks who don’t know and the newbies who are so wide eyed at the prospects of running off into the sunset to be professional comedians.
When you start out as an open mic comic you don’t get paid nor do you deserve to get paid. PERIOD. You’re doing it to learn and get better. That’s it. If you luck up and find a show that will give the open micers five bucks or so then all praise to the show producer and club owner for taking a chance on you cause it ain’t gonna happen often. After you’ve done open mics for a while (at least 6 months to a year if you’re serious) then its time to look for work. That being emceeing in a club or local show.
Emceeing is a job. Its not your time to shine. You’re being given a responsibility to represent the club and to warm up the crowd for the feature and headliner (who both make more money than you) Most clubs pay anywhere from $0-$50 a show to emcee. Be thankful if you get food and drink in that too. So emceeing is something you should do locally at first. And be sure you have a real job if you try to emcee out of town because you won’t get paid travel money. What have we learned? Keep a real source of income at first because to branch out you’re going to have to travel and that costs gas and lodging (if its really far)
So after a year or so of emceeing you think you have enough material to feature. This is where the rubber hit’s the road. Features make a varied amount of money per show based on the club. B rooms pay less than A rooms. Maybe you can find a bar that books comedy shows or a booker that does one nighters which anywhere from $100-$250 a show from what I’ve seen. Maybe less sometimes. That’s it. You have to spend gas money to get to these places and if you’re lucky enough to get a hotel with it that’s even better. But say you want to do a one nighter in Kansas that pays $150 and a room but you live in Charlotte. Wanna fly or drive? With the price of gas, what’s the difference? Bus? Maybe. Amtrak? They both use fuel so the prices are going up. So you have to do some mad planning to be a feature. So a full-time or part-time job would really make sense, wouldn’t it?
Headlining I’m not really going to go into because I think (or hope) you get the picture. Doing festivals is fun but they don’t pay. Corporate work is FANTASTIC, pays on time and the best but really competitive. College shows are damn near locked up like Fort Knox and really restrictive. And don’t even get me started about trying to start your own room.
So then they asked me “Damn. Why do you even want to be a comedian if you have to suffer so much to make a living?” and I said, “Cause being on that stage expressing myself and having fun coming up with real life ideas, seeing different places and leaving behind a real legacy beats the hell outta’ having to go to some shit job and have somebody stick a piece of paper in my face every month telling me how unworthy I am and expect me to agree to it then wondering why I don’t look or sound happy when I’m at work.
Do the math
Look at ME!! PLEEEEEASE LOOK AT ME!!!!!

I hate people who brag or boast. I just hate it. It gets on my nerves every time I hear a comic tweet or update a status with "I blew it up" or going on about a killer set they had. Shouldn't it be an audience member who says that. But there is something to be said about promotion. Whats the difference you may ask. Well the difference is reaching your audience and developing a relationship or engaging them. In my opinion nobody gives a crap about how funny YOU think you are. They want to know how funny somebody they don't know thinks you are. You have to come up with plan to market yourself. Idiotic videos, posting your set, posting yourself bombing. Thats the kind of stuff that gets you noticed today. Cheesy you say? I agree and I'm not happy about it either. It used to be about the art but if you want to work you're going to need a following. A following can easily get you booked. Even if its just a showcase or open mic. (I know it smells like a bringer show tactic but hey, I don't make the rules) Anyhoo, think of creative ways to engage your fans and keep them wanting to know what you're doing. Twitter and Youtube are great places to do that and comics are using them everyday. Make a plan and ask yourself who your audience is. One important thing is to know is yourself. Don't promote yourself as being something your not. I don't come off as an "urban" comedian so posting videos about making fun of Kool Aid and stank breath wouldn't work for me. Because when I do my set and I don't have those types of (hack) jokes the audience will be disappointed. So be true to who you are as a comic. Carry on
Take initiative by taking advantage of bad weather!

I was just thinking that NOW would be a good time to check with bookers and clubs for fallouts. People are stranded in airports everywhere so some some clubs may not have a feature or emcee. Even headliners. So why not call the clubs within driving distance and see if they need you?
Here’s a quick way to search upcoming comedy festivals!
Ok its that time of year to get more exposure by performing at comedy festivals. The first question comics usually ask is " where can I find them?" Well here ya' go!
If you're on Facebook just search "comedy festival". That should pull up a listing of comedy festival fan pages. These pages usually have the current dates and websites so you can submit. Try it out and let me know what you found.
Don’t do your homework! Just riff it!!
Hey folks!
Pretty soon I'm going to do a post on the best books (my opinion) on stand comedy. What I want to know is what you do to study stand up. (if you study it at all) Do you listen to records, Sirius, books, etc. Cause we all agree that comedy is indeed an art form so it only makes sense that you have to study it. Or else you'll have no true appreciation for it thus you have no grounds to complain about a certain style. (my opinion) So lets hear from you while I work on my list. See ya!!



